The chalk board

 I wrote yesterdays bible verse on my chalk board. I have a big chalk board painted  on my kitchen wall as I had become very forgetful since having kids. It looks very trendy and the kids love doodling on it. I am going to look at the verse all the time ( i have been doing so already), and this is my mediation verse for as long as it is necessary.

I phoned the Dr, and we are going to have a chat on Monday. I think that perhaps my bipolar med need to be adjusted for this period.

On Sunday I planned this weeks menu. I have never done that before. One of my new years resolutions was to stop going to the shops all the time. I tried to match meals where I could use the veg from the one day to the next. ie spare carrots into the pie etc. Another resoultion was to introduce more veg into our meals, and pre planning seemed the best way to do it.
Last night I made a chicken and veg pie. It was awful. I was more than disappointed as it took a great deal of effort to do. The chicken stock was so overpowering that it spoilt everything and so the dogs got the supper and we got to eat the rice. I then had to make everyone scrambled eggs!

Rob cooked spaghetti Bolognase. Cant go wrong with that, except Jordan knocked hers all over the floor. Happy dogs again tonight!

Well, guess what! its 8pm, and my show starts in 30 min. I am going to read the bible now. The best part is that I want to.

Praise be to God!

Are the rainy days set to stay?

Are the rainy days set to stay?

Woke up. The rain cloud was still there, lurking ominously over my head.

I went for a walk this morning to try lift my spirit. Hoping that the little cloud would part a bit and allow some sunshine in for the day.

I had a song in my head. " in your presence that's where I belong', so I began using it as a mantra, talking to my self, reminding myself who I was and where I belonged.

The walk was good. I could feel the blood circulating my system as I briskly walked the neighbourhood.

Got home and immediately had to deal with some problems with the bank, and the darkness came crashing in as I became angry with my situation.

We worship a God who doesn't shout out the answers, but who is gentle and kind. I don't believe in co-incidence when it comes to Him. Everything God does is for a reason.

I sat down at my computer and checked my emails. My daily verse had come in: It was from Psalm 16:

It read: Lord you teach me the way of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy.

Now if that isn't confirmation of what he is whispering to me then what is?

Falling into the "religious" trap again, instead of being freed from it.

Sometimes going to church is plain old hard work, and to be honest, I sometimes wish I didn't have to go.

Now, before you raise your eye brow,let me explain.
Firstly hubby doesn't go to church. So, taking two little kids who are full of energy by myself isn't easy.

I go to church, not because I have to go, I go because I want to go. Still, it doesn't make it any easier.

Then the crèche only opens after the singing has ended. So, having Adam (2)in the service until then is difficult. The kids like to sing and dance, and often their very voices get louder and louder as the want to show me this, and tell me that!

So today, as Adam was blowing spit bubbles at everyone, I decided that one song was enough and headed to the crèche, where I sat playing toy cars with him for the next half an hour! This is when I start thinking,just remind me why am I here?

So, moving between the creche, the toilets, the back of the church and the front,(yes,the madness is that I enjoy sitting at the front), means that I am seldom focused on the worship, or get to hear the full sermon or the announcements.

I finally sat down to hear the sermon, (not sure how much I had missed), and was immediately absorbed in what Pete, the guest speaker was saying.
Jesus came to set us free. Yes, we all know that, but how often do we turn those who are about to come to Christ to be "set free" or who just have, away, because of our religiosity? Oh sorry, you are not welcome here, because of your lifestyle. You are gay! You have just had an affair with someone I know. I know that you are an unscrupulous businessman. What do you think you are doing here, you hypocrite? And so on and so forth.

I realised that I had become my worst enemy and was judging myself because of who I am, and who I thought I sometimes should be. I recently invited a few friends to a ladies breakfast. Afterwards I kept thinking, I was such a hypocrite, as the night before, we were having a few drinks together and now I sit at a ladies church lunch singing about Jesus.

It was such freedom to be set free the enemies lies. I had fallen, one again, into that religious trap. I am who I am. I am a very real person, and I don't have to be "super-saved", to be accepted by Christ. I am not of this world, but I do live in it, and I need to realise that.

God loves me JUST the way I am. A very real person, who's aim is to be increasingly conformed to the image of Christ, and not to the image of who I think I should be, (or to others in the church, or anywhere else). There is no freedom in law only in Christ.