Woman arrested for killing kids
22/05/2009 09:49 - (SA)
East London - A 40-year old woman has been arrested for the murder of her two young children, the Dispatch reported on Friday.
The two sisters, aged 7 and 9, were found strangled in their mother's bakkie parked near Kayser's Beach on Thursday afternoon.
The mother had earlier called a friend and told her she planned to kill her children.
"It was her friend who alerted the police, but when we got to Kayser's Beach we could not find her," said police spokesperson Superintendent Mtati Tana.
"We tried calling her to talk her out of it, but by the time we got hold of her along the road it was too late. The kids were dead and she was also bleeding because she had slit her wrists,"
I sit here wondering what was going through this woman's mind. I too have suffered from such a deep depression that I wanted to end my life. But to take your kids with you is a completely different story all together.
Then, to strangle them! Dear God in Heaven. That is the most personal way of killing someone. Shooting is impersonal, but to put your own hands around your kids neck.....Oh my God!
She is alive. Her kids are dead. Her hell is now to sit in jail for the rest of her life knowing what she did.
Why am I posting this story? I honestly don't know. Maybe its because I am a mom and it has gone deep into my soul, that a mom can do this.
This morning I got so cross with my little ones that I yelled and said stuff that was very unloving. I immediately realised this and sorted myself out, and gave them the love they deserve. After all, my behaviour was childish and I am an adult and must behave like one. Its easy to lash out at our kids, after all, they can drive you crazy.
Moms, go give your kids some extra love today. Hug them, hold them, and tell them that you love them. They are not ours, even if they are with us for a life time.
They are precious gifts from God and we need to treat them that way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
A not so great FAST
On Friday I was meant to fast. I wanted to do this over our community as we have been hit by a serious crime wave.
All was going well, until about noon when I started feeling flu-ish. I thought if I just get into bed everything will be fine.But I had kids over for a play date and I had to watch them on the jungle gym.
By evening time I was about to fall over, and felt as if I had been hit by a bus. I had a terrible sinus head ache. I had had a few med lemon's during the day and my stomach was hurting (proberly from the high asprin content). Later around 10pm, I felt so horrible, that I had to go eat something. I sat on the kitchen floor with a packet of nuts and a jar of honey eating it by the spoonful, thinking maybe its because my sugar levels are down.I also woke up every hour and drank glass after glass of water because I was so dehydrated.
I told God this is not what I planned, or hoped for. Was this the enemy's attempt to keep me from Fasting,or was it just lousy timing coming down with the flu. I just don't know?
Last night was the repeat of Friday night, except it was much worse. I couldn't breath properly as my sinus's where so blocked,I was sweating, and then I was so chilly, my head ache came back with a vengeance. Again,right on cue, every hour I would sit up and have another glass of water. As I could barely sleep, I started to talk to God. But it was bizarre, I had snatches of verses and songs and psalms in my head and I don't think I was very coherent.
In the early hours of the morning I was curled up on the bathroom floor as I was so dizzy I could not get back to bed. It was then I heard quiet clearly, in my not so clear head, these words....Simon Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but I have been praying for you.
I have no idea what that means! I don't think that Satan has really asked God if he can sift me as wheat and so I must chalk it up to me being feverish.
But I am pretty sure that that verse didn't just pop into my head whilst lying on the bathroom floor? Or did it?
All was going well, until about noon when I started feeling flu-ish. I thought if I just get into bed everything will be fine.But I had kids over for a play date and I had to watch them on the jungle gym.
By evening time I was about to fall over, and felt as if I had been hit by a bus. I had a terrible sinus head ache. I had had a few med lemon's during the day and my stomach was hurting (proberly from the high asprin content). Later around 10pm, I felt so horrible, that I had to go eat something. I sat on the kitchen floor with a packet of nuts and a jar of honey eating it by the spoonful, thinking maybe its because my sugar levels are down.I also woke up every hour and drank glass after glass of water because I was so dehydrated.
I told God this is not what I planned, or hoped for. Was this the enemy's attempt to keep me from Fasting,or was it just lousy timing coming down with the flu. I just don't know?
Last night was the repeat of Friday night, except it was much worse. I couldn't breath properly as my sinus's where so blocked,I was sweating, and then I was so chilly, my head ache came back with a vengeance. Again,right on cue, every hour I would sit up and have another glass of water. As I could barely sleep, I started to talk to God. But it was bizarre, I had snatches of verses and songs and psalms in my head and I don't think I was very coherent.
In the early hours of the morning I was curled up on the bathroom floor as I was so dizzy I could not get back to bed. It was then I heard quiet clearly, in my not so clear head, these words....Simon Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but I have been praying for you.
I have no idea what that means! I don't think that Satan has really asked God if he can sift me as wheat and so I must chalk it up to me being feverish.
But I am pretty sure that that verse didn't just pop into my head whilst lying on the bathroom floor? Or did it?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Piece of Pie
I wanted to share with you my Pie.
I know it sound silly, but this is the first pie I have baked. I made a roast chicken with gravy pie and it was yummy.
The Shack, trusting God and so much more.
I have just finished reading "The Shack", by William Young. To be honest, I did not find it particularly AMAZING, awesome, nor tear jerking (although the end made me teary!). However there was a few RHEMA sentences that the Holy Spirit revealed to me.
I have been struggling with trust. Trusting God as we walk through new territory. Not only have I been struggling with trust, I have really been wrestling with it, especially in my prayer life.
When I read the book "practising the presence of God", a short while ago, I struggled to understand how he, Brother Lawrence, could totally surrender EVERYTHINGto the Father. Its not that I don't want to, don't get me wrong, its that I can't.
And so, in His perfect timing,The Holy Spirit revealed to me. Trust is the fruit of a relationship where you know you are loved......and because you don't know that I (God/Jesus) love you, you cannot trust me.
Now this sounds so simple, doesn't it. Of course I know God loves me,I am a believer and follower of Christ. But,I clearly do not know the DEPTH of His love for me. And I now see that if I did, I would be able to move mountains.
So, where to from here? Well, I believe the answer is to keep abiding in Christ. I so badly want what Brother Lawrence had, to give up the right to decide what is good and evil on my own terms and chose only to live in Christ. I want it now. I want it NOW. God's timing is perfect, and He know's I am an impatient child.
It reminds me of that joke, "how do you eat an elephant? Answer, one bite at a time."
I have been struggling with trust. Trusting God as we walk through new territory. Not only have I been struggling with trust, I have really been wrestling with it, especially in my prayer life.
When I read the book "practising the presence of God", a short while ago, I struggled to understand how he, Brother Lawrence, could totally surrender EVERYTHINGto the Father. Its not that I don't want to, don't get me wrong, its that I can't.
And so, in His perfect timing,The Holy Spirit revealed to me. Trust is the fruit of a relationship where you know you are loved......and because you don't know that I (God/Jesus) love you, you cannot trust me.
Now this sounds so simple, doesn't it. Of course I know God loves me,I am a believer and follower of Christ. But,I clearly do not know the DEPTH of His love for me. And I now see that if I did, I would be able to move mountains.
So, where to from here? Well, I believe the answer is to keep abiding in Christ. I so badly want what Brother Lawrence had, to give up the right to decide what is good and evil on my own terms and chose only to live in Christ. I want it now. I want it NOW. God's timing is perfect, and He know's I am an impatient child.
It reminds me of that joke, "how do you eat an elephant? Answer, one bite at a time."
Thursday, April 30, 2009
God's creation is amazing...seeing Killer Whales
I often forget how privileged we are. Rob gets to do what he loves,working with sharks and being on the ocean, and I love working from home doing all the bookings, correspondence and being with the kids.
On Sunday we had the fortunate rare experience, and may be the last one, of seeing Killer Whales/ Orca's.
Rob got a call from a friend saying that he has spotted Killer whales and a massive school of dolphins in the Bay. The kids and I were at a birthday party, and I was very embarrassed to inform our hostess that we had to immediately leave. We raced to the boat to meet Rob.
My heart jumped when we saw the first one. It was beautiful, really and truly beautiful! They swam in front, under and around the boat. Adam wanted to jump overboard, as he was so excited, and I had to take the kids onto the viewing deck.
There were 5 of them in the pod. 4 mediums ones ( I think all female) and one smaller male. They were actively after the dolphins. These animals can move it. They were swimming at a speed of 5 knots. They also eat seals, but didn't give them a second glance.
It was amazing to see them chase, herd and go in for the kill. They caught one dolphin,(They were Dusky dolphins),and then totally backed off. The dolphins went absolutely wild. They caused such massive splashes as they raced to get away, that all you could not even see them.
After that the Orca's changed course and swam away.
Rob took some nice pics, and my 4 yr old daughter wants to take a pic to "show and tell". The bottom pic was taken from our friends boat of us on our boat. I just love that pic. Stunning hey!
Sometimes we get caught up in the small stuff,paying bills,the increase in interest rates, wondering about the country and elections,how the global recession is going to affect us, and yes, it can seem overwhelming at times, but despite all of that, I am glad I took a step back and realised we are so privileged.
Shouldn't you?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Voting day and Elections
Yes, I voted. I stood in the queue for an hour and cast my secret ballot.
I wont get into the in's and out of voting and my opinion as politics is such a hot topic that I am bound to get a million replies, both good and bad.
I had to seriously pray before hand as I felt very hopeless for this country. I prayed that I remember that my hope is in Christ and not the government. My hope comes from the Lord and not what I see around me.
Its hard to do that. To stand on the word when, my world, my country is completely out of my hands and I can only cast 1 vote as to how I wish it would be.
I wont get into the in's and out of voting and my opinion as politics is such a hot topic that I am bound to get a million replies, both good and bad.
I had to seriously pray before hand as I felt very hopeless for this country. I prayed that I remember that my hope is in Christ and not the government. My hope comes from the Lord and not what I see around me.
Its hard to do that. To stand on the word when, my world, my country is completely out of my hands and I can only cast 1 vote as to how I wish it would be.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The shift
I think a shift has started.
In my last post, remember I said that God clearly said to me that love is not enough and that you have to be obedient. Well, obedience is the theme that has slowly been weaving its way into my life. It has been so subtle that I did not recognise it, until now. In my daily readings, I have been going through Deuteronomy. Disobedience was the key factor for Moses not being allowed into The Promised Land. Obedience is the reason why Joshua took Jericho and then annihilated nation after nation. Obedience is what I have been reading in the psalms and proverbs over the last month...and still I did not get it until that revelation, sunk deeply into my heart.
The next day I wanted to do some reading. I didn't feel like reading any of the books I have been reading of late, and so I went to my book shelf. Immediately I was drawn to a book that has been gathering dust for a long time. It was "The Devils door" by John Bevere. After reading a chapter I noticed on the cover was written "How obedience to God can protect you from the bondage of sin".
How did I miss that? It surely was not a coincidence. The Lord is talking to me. He is not quiet. He is whispering and directing me and I........am listening.
Do I think my winter period is over? I don't know, but I know that something has changed. I also noticed that my prayers over this week end have not been bouncing and echoing back to me.
I must be careful that I don't run with this and try and "lead" instead of waiting and listening, and then being obedient and being a doer. A doer of the word and not of the church. By this I mean not doing out of duty, pressure or obligation, or what I think is right. Just doing because that is what the Holy Spirit wants me to do, and this includes doing nothing when God is silent.
In my last post, remember I said that God clearly said to me that love is not enough and that you have to be obedient. Well, obedience is the theme that has slowly been weaving its way into my life. It has been so subtle that I did not recognise it, until now. In my daily readings, I have been going through Deuteronomy. Disobedience was the key factor for Moses not being allowed into The Promised Land. Obedience is the reason why Joshua took Jericho and then annihilated nation after nation. Obedience is what I have been reading in the psalms and proverbs over the last month...and still I did not get it until that revelation, sunk deeply into my heart.
The next day I wanted to do some reading. I didn't feel like reading any of the books I have been reading of late, and so I went to my book shelf. Immediately I was drawn to a book that has been gathering dust for a long time. It was "The Devils door" by John Bevere. After reading a chapter I noticed on the cover was written "How obedience to God can protect you from the bondage of sin".
How did I miss that? It surely was not a coincidence. The Lord is talking to me. He is not quiet. He is whispering and directing me and I........am listening.
Do I think my winter period is over? I don't know, but I know that something has changed. I also noticed that my prayers over this week end have not been bouncing and echoing back to me.
I must be careful that I don't run with this and try and "lead" instead of waiting and listening, and then being obedient and being a doer. A doer of the word and not of the church. By this I mean not doing out of duty, pressure or obligation, or what I think is right. Just doing because that is what the Holy Spirit wants me to do, and this includes doing nothing when God is silent.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Winter wonderland
Been going through the book "prayer" by Richard Foster. This is a heavy book to read and so I am going through it in stages as I feel the H/S promptings.
Just finished the chapter called Formative prayer, which is the process of transformation to be Christ like.
He opens with this, which I fell in love with....The primary purpose of prayer is to bring us into such a life of communion with the Father that by the power of the Spirit we are increasingly conformed to the image of the Son. Isn't that such a beautiful way of summing up prayer.
He talks about how in our walk of eagerly pursuing God, we are slowly moulded and shaped bit by bit, IF we allow ourselves to be.
In fact as I read this chapter I saw myself, and realised that this chapter is where I am in life. How I am being drawn into Solitude. How I am being stripped away of all I hold dear to me, and also of parts of me, branches, you could say, that are dead.
I realise how much pride I have in me. I was so proud that "my calling" is prayer.contemplative, meditative prayer.Now I cant even pray the simplest prayer. There is no desire, nothing, its all flat flat flat. I began to think that that I was "so special" because I heard constantly from God. Now it feels like everything I say bounces and echo's back to me.
Its been months and months now like this. However I know that I am bathed in grace. I can feel it, sense it, KNOW it. God is good. He is loving, and He is kind. I am being held at an arms length, but its Him who is doing the holding and I am safe.
Richard Foster calls this the Blessedness of Winter.To the outward eye everything looks barren and unsightly. Our many defeats, flaws, weaknesses and imperfections stand our in bold relief. ( and in my eyes they are so glaring). But only the outward virtues have collapsed, the principle of virtue is actually being strengthened.
The soul is venturing forth into the interior. Real solitude,enduring virtues begin to develop deep within. Pure love is being birthed.
I cant claim this as my own as I feel nothing.As painful as this is, I must accept that this is where I am and humbly as God that through Christ, our Lord, that He continue the good work that He started.
I declared simply to God last night that I loved Him so much. He answered gently but loudly...Love is not enough, You (Karen) have to be obedient.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Back on blogland
It has been over a month since my last blog, which I hope will be my last "mini sabbatical" from blogging.
I was hell of a tired, and had so much work to for our company, that when I had any free time, it was spent just trying to look after myself and the family.
We have been away on holiday for the last 2 and a half weeks, and I would love to share our holiday pics with you all. We went away to Botswana ( again!!),
We went to our families ( in laws) game farm. Real bush, real Africa, not like the fancy 5 star lodges, that try to convince you that this is what real Africa is like. We have no electricity, no generators, no gas ( except for the fridges) and no cell phone coverage.This is our 3rd time back, and its fast becoming our favourite destination.
Each night you sit under the stars, watching the fire and getting lost in time. Its really therapeutic for the soul and its just what I needed. One of the group brought an astronomical telescope. It was amazing to look at the stars and planets ( I saw Saturn, boy is it beautiful!).I was drawn back to how our God, the creator of the universe placed each one in the sky and knows them all by name. It makes me very humble to then think how insignificant I am, and yet I am the apple of His eye.
Here is a picture of the moon taken through the telescope. Stunning Hey?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Where is Karen
2 Cor 4:8-9
8"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed".
This has been the theme for the past month. I retreated into myself. To be honest, I was in despair for a while to.
I have had the worst time,fatigue and depression wise and it threw me badly. Is shook the foundations of my faith, the foundations of my marriage and my soul. I went into a complete black hole of darkness and could for the life of me, not see one step forward.I felt like a total wreck.
Someone once asked, what is it like to suffer from severe depression. I replied "it is if you have just walked into a black and white movie, and someone has sucked all the joy out of your life".
I have had to force myself to get out of bed, be a mom, try run a business and try to be a wife. The wife bit fell apart as I just had nothing to give and so my husband has been feeling so rejected and unloved.
I cried and cried out to the Lord in utter despair and hopelessness.One day I woke up and remembered something. Something that shifted my depression and gave me hope.
Talk the answer, not the problem. The answer is in God's word. Then, "the Holy Spirit, your teacher will reveal the things that have been freely given to us by God." (Jn 14.26)
The other verse was 2 Cor 5:7 Walk by faith and not by sight.
I had forgotten to walk by faith. I was trusting the Lord, yet set my sights on what I saw "my situation".
It was then, the Lord renewed my strength, and reminded me that I had not been abandoned, even if I felt that way.
I learnt the biggest life lesson: I take on too much.I will not break the fatigue cycle if I don't stop overdoing it when I am feeling well. So, I have handed over many chores and duties to my hubby. If he is home, he can fetch the kids. He can help me by do the shopping and if he doesn't like egg on toast if I am not up to making a better meal, then he is welcome to cook.( And so he has, bless him).
God is good.
So, that is why I have not been around. I had no energy to even blog. I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are good and really joyful, others not.
When I can, I will next share how I believe I have grown in Christ during this period.
God Bless you all, and thank you for all the kind posts of late. I really have appreciated it sooooooo much.
8"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed".
This has been the theme for the past month. I retreated into myself. To be honest, I was in despair for a while to.
I have had the worst time,fatigue and depression wise and it threw me badly. Is shook the foundations of my faith, the foundations of my marriage and my soul. I went into a complete black hole of darkness and could for the life of me, not see one step forward.I felt like a total wreck.
Someone once asked, what is it like to suffer from severe depression. I replied "it is if you have just walked into a black and white movie, and someone has sucked all the joy out of your life".
I have had to force myself to get out of bed, be a mom, try run a business and try to be a wife. The wife bit fell apart as I just had nothing to give and so my husband has been feeling so rejected and unloved.
I cried and cried out to the Lord in utter despair and hopelessness.One day I woke up and remembered something. Something that shifted my depression and gave me hope.
Talk the answer, not the problem. The answer is in God's word. Then, "the Holy Spirit, your teacher will reveal the things that have been freely given to us by God." (Jn 14.26)
The other verse was 2 Cor 5:7 Walk by faith and not by sight.
I had forgotten to walk by faith. I was trusting the Lord, yet set my sights on what I saw "my situation".
It was then, the Lord renewed my strength, and reminded me that I had not been abandoned, even if I felt that way.
I learnt the biggest life lesson: I take on too much.I will not break the fatigue cycle if I don't stop overdoing it when I am feeling well. So, I have handed over many chores and duties to my hubby. If he is home, he can fetch the kids. He can help me by do the shopping and if he doesn't like egg on toast if I am not up to making a better meal, then he is welcome to cook.( And so he has, bless him).
God is good.
So, that is why I have not been around. I had no energy to even blog. I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are good and really joyful, others not.
When I can, I will next share how I believe I have grown in Christ during this period.
God Bless you all, and thank you for all the kind posts of late. I really have appreciated it sooooooo much.
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