God's creation is amazing...seeing Killer Whales

I often forget how privileged we are. Rob gets to do what he loves,working with sharks and being on the ocean, and I love working from home doing all the bookings, correspondence and being with the kids.

On Sunday we had the fortunate rare experience, and may be the last one, of seeing Killer Whales/ Orca's.

Rob got a call from a friend saying that he has spotted Killer whales and a massive school of dolphins in the Bay. The kids and I were at a birthday party, and I was very embarrassed to inform our hostess that we had to immediately leave. We raced to the boat to meet Rob.

My heart jumped when we saw the first one. It was beautiful, really and truly beautiful! They swam in front, under and around the boat. Adam wanted to jump overboard, as he was so excited, and I had to take the kids onto the viewing deck.

There were 5 of them in the pod. 4 mediums ones ( I think all female) and one smaller male. They were actively after the dolphins. These animals can move it. They were swimming at a speed of 5 knots. They also eat seals, but didn't give them a second glance.

It was amazing to see them chase, herd and go in for the kill. They caught one dolphin,(They were Dusky dolphins),and then totally backed off. The dolphins went absolutely wild. They caused such massive splashes as they raced to get away, that all you could not even see them.

After that the Orca's changed course and swam away.

Rob took some nice pics, and my 4 yr old daughter wants to take a pic to "show and tell". The bottom pic was taken from our friends boat of us on our boat. I just love that pic. Stunning hey!

Sometimes we get caught up in the small stuff,paying bills,the increase in interest rates, wondering about the country and elections,how the global recession is going to affect us, and yes, it can seem overwhelming at times, but despite all of that, I am glad I took a step back and realised we are so privileged.

Shouldn't you?

Voting day and Elections

Yes, I voted. I stood in the queue for an hour and cast my secret ballot.

I wont get into the in's and out of voting and my opinion as politics is such a hot topic that I am bound to get a million replies, both good and bad.

I had to seriously pray before hand as I felt very hopeless for this country. I prayed that I remember that my hope is in Christ and not the government. My hope comes from the Lord and not what I see around me.

Its hard to do that. To stand on the word when, my world, my country is completely out of my hands and I can only cast 1 vote as to how I wish it would be.

The shift

I think a shift has started.

In my last post, remember I said that God clearly said to me that love is not enough and that you have to be obedient. Well, obedience is the theme that has slowly been weaving its way into my life. It has been so subtle that I did not recognise it, until now. In my daily readings, I have been going through Deuteronomy. Disobedience was the key factor for Moses not being allowed into The Promised Land. Obedience is the reason why Joshua took Jericho and then annihilated nation after nation. Obedience is what I have been reading in the psalms and proverbs over the last month...and still I did not get it until that revelation, sunk deeply into my heart.

The next day I wanted to do some reading. I didn't feel like reading any of the books I have been reading of late, and so I went to my book shelf. Immediately I was drawn to a book that has been gathering dust for a long time. It was "The Devils door" by John Bevere. After reading a chapter I noticed on the cover was written "How obedience to God can protect you from the bondage of sin".
How did I miss that? It surely was not a coincidence. The Lord is talking to me. He is not quiet. He is whispering and directing me and I........am listening.

Do I think my winter period is over? I don't know, but I know that something has changed. I also noticed that my prayers over this week end have not been bouncing and echoing back to me.

I must be careful that I don't run with this and try and "lead" instead of waiting and listening, and then being obedient and being a doer. A doer of the word and not of the church. By this I mean not doing out of duty, pressure or obligation, or what I think is right. Just doing because that is what the Holy Spirit wants me to do, and this includes doing nothing when God is silent.

Winter wonderland

Been going through the book "prayer" by Richard Foster. This is a heavy book to read and so I am going through it in stages as I feel the H/S promptings.

Just finished the chapter called Formative prayer, which is the process of transformation to be Christ like.

He opens with this, which I fell in love with....The primary purpose of prayer is to bring us into such a life of communion with the Father that by the power of the Spirit we are increasingly conformed to the image of the Son. Isn't that such a beautiful way of summing up prayer.

He talks about how in our walk of eagerly pursuing God, we are slowly moulded and shaped bit by bit, IF we allow ourselves to be.

In fact as I read this chapter I saw myself, and realised that this chapter is where I am in life. How I am being drawn into Solitude. How I am being stripped away of all I hold dear to me, and also of parts of me, branches, you could say, that are dead.

I realise how much pride I have in me. I was so proud that "my calling" is prayer.contemplative, meditative prayer.Now I cant even pray the simplest prayer. There is no desire, nothing, its all flat flat flat. I began to think that that I was "so special" because I heard constantly from God. Now it feels like everything I say bounces and echo's back to me.

Its been months and months now like this. However I know that I am bathed in grace. I can feel it, sense it, KNOW it. God is good. He is loving, and He is kind. I am being held at an arms length, but its Him who is doing the holding and I am safe.

Richard Foster calls this the Blessedness of Winter.To the outward eye everything looks barren and unsightly. Our many defeats, flaws, weaknesses and imperfections stand our in bold relief. ( and in my eyes they are so glaring). But only the outward virtues have collapsed, the principle of virtue is actually being strengthened.
The soul is venturing forth into the interior. Real solitude,enduring virtues begin to develop deep within. Pure love is being birthed.

I cant claim this as my own as I feel nothing.As painful as this is, I must accept that this is where I am and humbly as God that through Christ, our Lord, that He continue the good work that He started.

I declared simply to God last night that I loved Him so much. He answered gently but loudly...Love is not enough, You (Karen) have to be obedient.

Back on blogland

It has been over a month since my last blog, which I hope will be my last "mini sabbatical" from blogging.

I was hell of a tired, and had so much work to for our company, that when I had any free time, it was spent just trying to look after myself and the family.

We have been away on holiday for the last 2 and a half weeks, and I would love to share our holiday pics with you all. We went away to Botswana ( again!!),
We went to our families ( in laws) game farm. Real bush, real Africa, not like the fancy 5 star lodges, that try to convince you that this is what real Africa is like. We have no electricity, no generators, no gas ( except for the fridges) and no cell phone coverage.This is our 3rd time back, and its fast becoming our favourite destination.

Each night you sit under the stars, watching the fire and getting lost in time. Its really therapeutic for the soul and its just what I needed. One of the group brought an astronomical telescope. It was amazing to look at the stars and planets ( I saw Saturn, boy is it beautiful!).I was drawn back to how our God, the creator of the universe placed each one in the sky and knows them all by name. It makes me very humble to then think how insignificant I am, and yet I am the apple of His eye.

Here is a picture of the moon taken through the telescope. Stunning Hey?

Where is Karen

2 Cor 4:8-9
8"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed".

This has been the theme for the past month. I retreated into myself. To be honest, I was in despair for a while to.

I have had the worst time,fatigue and depression wise and it threw me badly. Is shook the foundations of my faith, the foundations of my marriage and my soul. I went into a complete black hole of darkness and could for the life of me, not see one step forward.I felt like a total wreck.

Someone once asked, what is it like to suffer from severe depression. I replied "it is if you have just walked into a black and white movie, and someone has sucked all the joy out of your life".

I have had to force myself to get out of bed, be a mom, try run a business and try to be a wife. The wife bit fell apart as I just had nothing to give and so my husband has been feeling so rejected and unloved.

I cried and cried out to the Lord in utter despair and hopelessness.One day I woke up and remembered something. Something that shifted my depression and gave me hope.
Talk the answer, not the problem. The answer is in God's word. Then, "the Holy Spirit, your teacher will reveal the things that have been freely given to us by God." (Jn 14.26)

The other verse was 2 Cor 5:7 Walk by faith and not by sight.

I had forgotten to walk by faith. I was trusting the Lord, yet set my sights on what I saw "my situation".

It was then, the Lord renewed my strength, and reminded me that I had not been abandoned, even if I felt that way.

I learnt the biggest life lesson: I take on too much.I will not break the fatigue cycle if I don't stop overdoing it when I am feeling well. So, I have handed over many chores and duties to my hubby. If he is home, he can fetch the kids. He can help me by do the shopping and if he doesn't like egg on toast if I am not up to making a better meal, then he is welcome to cook.( And so he has, bless him).

God is good.

So, that is why I have not been around. I had no energy to even blog. I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are good and really joyful, others not.

When I can, I will next share how I believe I have grown in Christ during this period.

God Bless you all, and thank you for all the kind posts of late. I really have appreciated it sooooooo much.

The finished product

 

Well, here it is. My first loaves of bread that actually turned out perfect.......yippee

Baking bread

I have taken up a new hobby. Bread baking. I have always enjoyed this, yet always been unsuccessful. Either its to doughy, or to hard, or tasteless, or not quiet right.In shear frustration after my last attempt last week, I turned to the internet. Here I discovered 'baking 101'. This site goes into such detail about bread baking, from the yeast, to kneading times, etc.

I have just popped another loaf into the oven. Hopefully with a new technique, I will have baked a decent loaf. My aim is to cut out shop bread as it has so many preservatives in it.

Wee willy winkie runs up and down.......

Well Adam refuses to keep his nappy on and we are having lots of messy times here.

Nappy on..nappy off….nappy on with shorts that he cant take off…nappy off…
3pm Poo on stoep…..spray Adam in bath…nappy on. Dad cleans stoep….Phew!!!
6pm Nappy off. Wee on moms bed ( thankfully have mattress cover)….nappy on
7.30 Nappy off…..wee on his pillow in cot…..mom goes to put pillow in washing machine…
7.31 Returns to upset Adam?? See’s poo on moms bedroom carpet…….return Adam to bath…spray him down. Dad cleans carpet ( Jordan points out poo that he has missed!!)
7.33 Mom washes poop out bath with dettol..Dad goes to fetch nappy…..returns to upset Adam. Adam has poo’d again on moms bedroom carpet
7.34 Mom returns Adam to bath. Dad returns to clean bedroom carpet again. Mom doesn’t let Adam out of site…Nappy on..back in cot…
7.40 Mom pours half glass of wine, dad collapses on couch!!!!

A big fright

Yesterday I woke up feeling really great. I guess Abba Father was giving me strength for what was to come.

I have been feeling jolly flabby due to the lack of exercise. As I was feeling top of the pops, I took the pram out and walked the kids to school. 1.5km for Jordan and a bit less for Adam. Then headed off to yoga class.My muscles have been really sore again due to the lack of stretching and it was a really hard class for me. Ran with pram to fetch the kids later on. Wow, still not tired...whoopee....

Adam woke from his nap with a really high temp. 38'. I didn't think much of it as he apparently cried all morning at crèche, so I thought it was due to that. Gave him a Panado suppository and he seemed much better an hour later.

We headed off to the in laws so Jordan could swim. Mommy forgot her swimming lesson and she was beside herself. Adam seemed okay, a bit hot, so I took his temp from there old fashioned thermometer and showed normal. Gave him some tea!
On the way home I watched my little boy have a seizure. It was the most awful thing to experience. I jumped into the back of the car, pulled him out his car seat and held him whilst he was convulsing. Rob was shouting "breathe for him" as he was starting to go blue.

The nearest day hospital was three minutes away. I am so thankful now that we where not at home then, as we live over the mountain from the in laws 20 min away, and that would have been a long way to drive.

I started to quietly pray in the Spirit as there was nothing more for me to do. Got to hospital,temp now 39.4'. They stabilized him whilst I "told God" to make him better.

2hrs later, he seemed better and we took him home. Spend the rest of the night holding him over many buckets, and changing about 20 runny nappies.

Today he is fine. Runny poops starting to lessen and he is now so far going on a 3 hr nap. Mom had a nice 2 hr nap.Praise God!!

Rob asked me later if I was praying in tongues. I said yes and it was a chance for me to witness a bit to him. (Which is a miracle in itself). A few minutes later I could sense the walls going up and so conversation topic ended.

I have no idea what yesterday was about. God gave me the strength to cope, my son is fine and we are all fine.

Praise Jesus!!