Monday, March 2, 2009

Where is Karen

2 Cor 4:8-9
8"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed".

This has been the theme for the past month. I retreated into myself. To be honest, I was in despair for a while to.

I have had the worst time,fatigue and depression wise and it threw me badly. Is shook the foundations of my faith, the foundations of my marriage and my soul. I went into a complete black hole of darkness and could for the life of me, not see one step forward.I felt like a total wreck.

Someone once asked, what is it like to suffer from severe depression. I replied "it is if you have just walked into a black and white movie, and someone has sucked all the joy out of your life".

I have had to force myself to get out of bed, be a mom, try run a business and try to be a wife. The wife bit fell apart as I just had nothing to give and so my husband has been feeling so rejected and unloved.

I cried and cried out to the Lord in utter despair and hopelessness.One day I woke up and remembered something. Something that shifted my depression and gave me hope.
Talk the answer, not the problem. The answer is in God's word. Then, "the Holy Spirit, your teacher will reveal the things that have been freely given to us by God." (Jn 14.26)

The other verse was 2 Cor 5:7 Walk by faith and not by sight.

I had forgotten to walk by faith. I was trusting the Lord, yet set my sights on what I saw "my situation".

It was then, the Lord renewed my strength, and reminded me that I had not been abandoned, even if I felt that way.

I learnt the biggest life lesson: I take on too much.I will not break the fatigue cycle if I don't stop overdoing it when I am feeling well. So, I have handed over many chores and duties to my hubby. If he is home, he can fetch the kids. He can help me by do the shopping and if he doesn't like egg on toast if I am not up to making a better meal, then he is welcome to cook.( And so he has, bless him).

God is good.

So, that is why I have not been around. I had no energy to even blog. I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are good and really joyful, others not.

When I can, I will next share how I believe I have grown in Christ during this period.

God Bless you all, and thank you for all the kind posts of late. I really have appreciated it sooooooo much.

7 comments:

Terry said...

Yea!!!!!! God is great! Welcome back Karen. I wasn't to concerned for the first few days but when we didn't hear from you for a while, then concern set in. Knowing that you deal with depression from time to time, I did pray that you were OK. I wish we had the answer to all our woes in life, but we are going to have to wait until we get to heaven for the total cure. I pray that God will heal you and give you total relief. God bless you and your family!

sister sheri said...

Karen - These are words to live by... "Talk the answer, not the problem. The answer is in God's word... I had forgotten to walk by faith. I was trusting the Lord, yet set my sights on what I saw "my situation"... It was then, the Lord renewed my strength, and reminded me that I had not been abandoned, even if I felt that way."

I am glad that you were able to check in and let us know how you are doing. We need each other, don't we? Knowing that others are praying for us when we may not be able to pray for ourselves.

I have been praying for you, my sister. May you continue on in God's faithfulness. May He draw you closer into his chest... and love on you... and strengthen you.

elizabeth embracing life said...

Praying for continued endurance as you battle it out. God is truly our hope in all situations.

Grace said...

Dear Karen,

What a beautiful honest post. Been there!

Yes, Max is our four-legged friend. I've written a great deal about his adventures previously. :)

So glad you're back with us!
Blessings!

Journey Of Faith said...

Karen- I am praying for God's Spirit to cover you and lift you up when things get hard!!! You are NOT abandoned!!!

It seems that life does try to throw us in a loop and I tend to forget of His assurances - like the armor of God that you reminded me about a few months back. This time, I came for a visit, to see another reminder from God, delivered by you, to walk by faith, not by sight...

Thank you sister, a sweet blessing!!!

sister sheri said...

Where are you, sweet soul? I will lift your name to our Father in prayer... knowing that He knows what you need at this very moment.

With Love, Sheri

sister sheri said...

Still praying for you, sister!