Thursday, January 21, 2010

The chalk board

 I wrote yesterdays bible verse on my chalk board. I have a big chalk board painted  on my kitchen wall as I had become very forgetful since having kids. It looks very trendy and the kids love doodling on it. I am going to look at the verse all the time ( i have been doing so already), and this is my mediation verse for as long as it is necessary.

I phoned the Dr, and we are going to have a chat on Monday. I think that perhaps my bipolar med need to be adjusted for this period.

On Sunday I planned this weeks menu. I have never done that before. One of my new years resolutions was to stop going to the shops all the time. I tried to match meals where I could use the veg from the one day to the next. ie spare carrots into the pie etc. Another resoultion was to introduce more veg into our meals, and pre planning seemed the best way to do it.
Last night I made a chicken and veg pie. It was awful. I was more than disappointed as it took a great deal of effort to do. The chicken stock was so overpowering that it spoilt everything and so the dogs got the supper and we got to eat the rice. I then had to make everyone scrambled eggs!

Rob cooked spaghetti Bolognase. Cant go wrong with that, except Jordan knocked hers all over the floor. Happy dogs again tonight!

Well, guess what! its 8pm, and my show starts in 30 min. I am going to read the bible now. The best part is that I want to.

Praise be to God!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Are the rainy days set to stay?

Are the rainy days set to stay?

Woke up. The rain cloud was still there, lurking ominously over my head.

I went for a walk this morning to try lift my spirit. Hoping that the little cloud would part a bit and allow some sunshine in for the day.
I had a song in my head. " in your presence that's where I belong', so I began using it as a mantra, talking to my self, reminding myself who I was and where I belonged.
The walk was good. I could feel the blood circulating my system as I briskly walked the neighbourhood.

Got home and immediately had to deal with some problems with the bank, and the darkness came crashing in as I became angry with my situation.

We worship a God who doesn't shout out the answers, but who is gentle and kind. I don't believe in co-incidence when it comes to Him. Everything God does is for a reason.
I sat down at my computer and checked my emails. My daily verse had come in: It was from Psalm 16:
It read: Lord you teach me the way of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy.

Now if that isn't confirmation of what he is whispering to me then what is?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Has the olive tree died?

I think I may be suffering from depression again. I am not to sure when it started as it has crept up slowly upon me.
At first I thought it was a spiritual dry patch I am going through. I havent wanted to pray, nor talk to God nor even read my bible daily.
For those who know me, this is very unlike me. Then I noticed my moods shifting. I have become increasingly sensitive and jumpy, and many of the things my husband has said has been wrong or offensive to me. The strange thing about that is perhaps that is true, but before hand I wouldn't notice or it wouldn't bother me so.
I don't even wish to talk to God about this! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

I will write a bit more tomorrow, as this started before my mom died two weeks ago, but was that the straw that broke the camels back?