John 15 sums up what I have been going through.......while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
I thought I understood what John 15 meant,but to experience it was a whole different matter.
It was not like walking through fire, nor going through a desert place, or being stripped of self and flesh,it was a very painful pruning.
I live by works. I work hard, am a good girl, do what is right ( or at least try to) and I always have. I have always strived, pushed myself and am very hard on myself if I fail. There is no doubt in my mind that when it comes to my faith, this applies as well. Often we get told that works= just doing things to please man or God. In my mind this may be to some people but not me. To me, I do what I do because I love God.
Lets give you an example: Arent we told that we need to read the bible daily. So that is what I would do. No matter if I felt like it or not. The same goes for praying. Some days I just dont feel like going through my prayer list. Pray for hubby, pray for kids, bless and praise the Lord, prayer for me etc etc.
Here is what I think happened. Because I do what is right, dont you think that makes me a good Christian? After all, I love God wholeheartedly and try to follow his ways. Can you see what began to creep into my life. Yep, its PRIDE.
What was so hard for me to see is that BECAUSE I love the Lord, I could not see the pride. After all, God was talking to me so loudly, in songs, in the word, through my heart, and I could see how far along the good path I was travelling that I had just become spiritually full of myself.
In December God started to take things away. I will continue my tale in the next blog post.