I sat down with the aim of deleting this blog. A few things have happened lately and I started to feel that perhaps I share my feelings too much. I am sure you know how that feels and you just want to kick yourself for sharing something personal. I thought perhaps I should be a bit more reserved and keep things to myself? And then the what if's started. What if this person or that person I know read my blog and what would they think about me? Heaven forbid that a guest would read this or a staff member. Why would a person want to share that they have BPD or their spiritual life is at an all time low? Besides its been a while since I have been regularly posting and perhaps I am just wasting my time. Also, Facebook has taken over the world and I too have been taken up by it.
And then I read a few of my blog posts from the past. Some of the posts I had forgotten that I had even written them, and reading them was so real and emotive. Some were so funny that I actually laughed out loud, and some made my heart go out to the author as they were so raw. But that author is me! If I deleted this blog it would be as if I deleted part of me. A Facebook post can never compete with a blog post. Blogging is not sharing your last five minutes, its sharing part of you.
When I started blogging a few years ago, I was so excited when someone had read a post or made a comment. But now I am not writing for someone. I am writing for me, as I like to journal. I have a private journal that I am very good at writing in, Its a spiritual one that is between God and myself and that journal more than just a part of me, it is me!
So back to the topic at hand, to delete or to not to delete, that is the question! And the answer is no. I just need to blog more regularly.