Saturday, November 15, 2008

Full of Pride


I had to go drop off some files at my accountant, and so I thought afterwards I would have some "me" time by getting a cuppachino at "Betty's little coffee shop" nearby, and reading my latest book, "The practise of the presence of God". Well, by the time I got to page eight I was wiping the tears away, and could not go any further. As I was reading how humble this monk was, and how in utterly everything, and I mean everything, he gave what ever he was thinking and doing over to God, the Lord just showed me things in my life that need serious adjustment. PRIDE, PRIDE PRIDE. Its never fun when the creator of the universe says, "Karen, you think too highly of yourself". Kinda knocks you sideways!
As I was reading, I watched this old man, watching me intensely! I would read a bit, cry a bit, blow my nose, scribble a bit, on a post it pad I found in my bag, and then pick up the book and then read a bit more. As I said I didn't get very far, closing it at page 8.

I do know that I want to know God the way Brother Lawrence knew God.
I know that I say I want to submit it all to Him, but I don't, but I really want to...make sense?
I know that the more I seek him the more painful it is. The more we seek him, the more we get what we wish for! He puts circumstances in our lives that change us. I feel like I am constantly rubbing up against a cheese grater, yet I keep saying more.........I want to be more like Christ.

Any one wanting to share with me?

2 comments:

Terry said...

Hi Karen-I am praying for you that you will know what is the perfect will of God. All books written by man or woman are to be filtered through the Bible to see if they line up with Scripture. I know you want to know God better so what better place to look for Him than in the Bible? I know you have a sincere heart for God, keep up the good work.

Terry

Sidharth said...

Karen, I have read that book too. Its an awesome read, but what sometimes some of these books may convey wrong truths with it. We'd be unaware about it, and sometimes we may adapt that mind-set. I find satisfaction in studying every move of Jesus....weighing every word that came out of Him....how He lived....thats more of a strong foundation and truth, it can never go wrong. =)